Small victory for my WordPress family!!

https://greengrowsdark.wordpress.com/2013/12/13/i-cant-believe-it-stupid-an-insensitive-people-on-wordpress/

Do you remember my post when I got mad about people posting insensitive comments on other people’s blog well my blogger friend game me permission to site her. She also wanted me to post her comment to say thank you to everybody who wished her well.

Oh, my life. Friday was a busy day for me so I completely missed this post. I’m so taken a back, it’s been a long time since someone “stood up” for me, especially a stranger.
I don’t even know what to say!

And not forgetting everyone who has commented to wish me well.

Wow, it’s not often I’m lost for words. Thank you, all of you!

You’re very welcome to link the post or post what I said in it here, but please no ganging up on the girl who commented. As was said above, she seems young, she may have meant well, and as much as her comment pissed me off too I don’t want her getting a load of hate. By all means, educate her but no name calling and bitching. This world has enough of that.

Vin

My response to her : You’re welcomed. Don’t worry I hate bullying, that’s why I didn’t put her name or a link to her post. It was just the perfect example of what I’ve been blogging about all along..and I was already in a bad mood it didn’t help. I’m glad that reading the post and the comments made you feel a little better. Hugs

Much better. This whole benefits thing has me rather feeling that people are assholes, but after reading this there are clearly some good people in the world. Hugs

We can congratulate ourselves for this small victory! This is proof that blogging creates a community and that words can make a difference in someone’s life.

Here is a link to her post http://dangerouslytenacious.wordpress.com/2013/12/12/meltdown/

I would suggest you guys to check out her post because it’s very easy to read and she discuss some interesting topics.

 

 

Forgiveness

Good morning! I’m drinking my coffee and watching videos, the person who was suppose to come visit at 3 cancelled, more time to clean! I’m almost done but I can take my time now. I’m talking to A. about forgiveness. She felt betrayed by a friend and she was very hurt.She wont be able to completely get rid of her friend because she is in her close surrounding and hey have a lot of friends in common. I told her to no focus on what she did wrong but to work on herself, to see figure out how to let go off the grudge so when she see her she doesn’t suffer. A. is an amazing friend who is very emphatic and ready to help others the problem is that she expect her friends to return the favor. Sadly a lot of people are selfish and wont make sacrifices for other people.

“Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time-just like it does for you and me.” – Sara Paddison

 

I found that quote online and it remind me of what my psychologist told me last week. Accepting that you cannot change people or expect they understand what they have done wrong is the key to happiness. Hurtful words and behaviors tell more about the person who commit them than the victim. Assessing our feelings and allowing ourselves to be freed from the pain others have caused us is beneficial. It’s not easy to stop hoping for apologies or admittance, but when we do we take control of our lives. We won’t have to wait for someone else,which is not even guaranteed, to deliver us from our burden. We can take introspect, find out why we are affected and manage our emotions and reactions accordingly. One of the ways I find very effective is by being compassionate. Admitting that the person did not know better and their affects and intellect are not built the same way ours are.

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself -Tony Robbins 

So give yourself the gift of forgiveness for the Holiday! Kisses!

 

 

Dissociation, what is it, how do we deal with it?

Dissociation, what is it, how do deal it? Mental Heath Videos with Kati Morton

Dissociation is a term in psychology describing a wide array of experiences from mild detachment from immediate surroundings to more severe detachment from physical and emotional experience. It is commonly displayed on a continuum. The major characteristic of all dissociative phenomena involves a detachment from reality — rather than a loss of reality as in psychosis. In mild cases, dissociation can be regarded as a coping mechanism or defense mechanisms in seeking to master, minimize or tolerate stress — including boredom or conflict. At the nonpathological end of the continuum, dissociation describes common events such as daydreaming while driving a vehicle. Further along the continuum are non-pathological altered states of consciousness.

More pathological dissociation involves dissociative disorders, including dissociative fugue and depersonalization disorder with or without alterations in personal identity or sense of self. These alterations can include: a sense that self or the world is unreal (depersonalization and derealization); a loss of memory (amnesia); forgetting identity or assuming a new self (fugue); and fragmentation of identity or self into separate streams of consciousness (dissociative identity disorder, formerly termed multiple personality disorder) and complex post-traumatic stress disorder. Dissociative disorders are sometimes triggered by trauma, but may be preceded only by stress, psychoactive substances, or no identifiable trigger at all. The ICD-10 classifies conversion disorder as a dissociative disorder. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders groups all dissociative disorders into a single category.
Although some dissociative disruptions involve amnesia, other dissociative events do not.

Dissociative disorders are typically experienced as startling, autonomous intrusions into the person’s usual ways of responding or functioning. Due to their unexpected and largely inexplicable nature, they tend to be quite unsettling.

Can I Recover From Self Injury If I Don’t Talk About My Abuse Past?

I discovered her yesterday on youtube, wasn’t really interested. I watched another video of hers and I could not stop watching. She is honest and answers questions that we wouldn’t ask our therapist directly. She also gives writing prompts at the end of her videos. I hope you enjoy it!

Can I Recover From Self Injury If I Don’t Talk About My Abuse Past? Twitter Thursday!! #KatiFAQ via YouTube Capture
1. I was sexually assaulted and my therapist wants me to talk about it, I just can’t. Any advice?
2. Hey Kati! How do you know if you reached the point to go to an inpatient treatment when you suffer from depression?
3. Kati is it possible to recover from BPD, self harm, depression and an eating disorder without talking about emotional & physical abuse from someone? But if I talk about all the other ‘issues’ and miss that out even though it affects me.
4. When my therapist asks me at the end of each session about my eating habits I instantly freeze. I’m embarrassed to share anything that has to do with it because it makes me uncomfortable and ashamed is it really necessary to talk about the behaviors? and if so how do I get over it? My habits are so second nature to me its hard to hear that its not “normal” so what can I do? I have had to write it down before as well but that makes it worse and is triggering.

Journal Topic:

I don’t want to write about….

Grumpy Jack

Grumpy Jack

He hates when I wake him up! Sorry Jibou…I wasn’t sure you were sleeping! Or maybe I did…I was just bored lol

Passenger-I Hate (lyrics)

Funny but he’s speaking the truth, it will put a smile on your face guaranteed 🙂

Maslow,mental health and compliments

 

I’ve been going through the comments on my blog and I saw how good I felt when I read positive comments and reviews about my blog. My self esteem goes up a bit, I’m starting to believe that maybe I’m good at this writing thing..People are actually interested in what I have to say and share. What a great feeling! So an idea came up! I’m going to collect positive things people say about be and whenever I’m down, I will read them and remember that some people think I’m awesome :). It’s crazy how it’s hard for us to accept our talents and know how much we are worth. This constant need of approval destroys our self esteem. 

Since we are human, and we cannot get rid of our need of belonging, I say, let’s make the best of it. We deserve to celebrate ourselves (Not to the point of being self centered), to remind ourselves that we were put into this hearth for a reason. Maybe we haven’t found it yet, but with a little digging, some experimentation and by accepting failure eventually we will be in the path of self actualization (Maslow’s hierarchy of needs). 

I’ve been looking for a video that correlates Maslow hierarchy of needs with mental disorders but I haven’t found one yet that doesn’t make me snore out of boredom. Why does information about mental health as to be so plain. No wonder reaching out to ”normal” people is so hard. Even I don’t want to watch a depressing video about depression.

My theory is a person suffering from a mental illness is generally deprived of his basic needs. These are the ones sited in the 3 first steps of the pyramid such as : health, employment security,family, friendship and sexual intimacy. It becomes more of a problem when they live in countries where those needed are supposedly fulfilled and the majority is reaching for the 2 last steps of the pyramid which are Esteem and Self Actualization. No wonder there is a barrier between the mentally ills and the mentally healthy , between the poor and the middle class and up. They don’t speak the same language.

A person who was raised in a stable family, had always have healthy relationship , who has never suffered from a mental illness wont understand why these needs are so important some someone who suffers from depression for example. For them these are already acquired needs that became their normalcy, now they are striving for high self esteem and creativity.A lot of people suffering from mental health are very creative and spontaneous. These are needs at the top of the pyramid, a person who had already acquired these qualities but lack of  basics necessity become unstable.

Take myself as an example I feel like I have met all the needs in the self actualization category (morality,creativity,spontaneity,problem solving,lack of prejudice and acceptance of facts) but In 3 other categories (Safety,love/belonging and esteem) I fail miserably. The good news is that it can be fixed and we don’t even have to do it in the ”right” order. The need of safety can be resolved with a concrete in rational plan so it should be easier to solve than the others. I think love and belonging goes with esteem. From my perspective, if we work on our self esteem, respect others,believe in ourselves and achieve the goals we set to ourselves, having a sense of belonging and making meaningful relationship should follow. This is great news, i just rationally proved to myself how I can improve my life! 

So my suggestion are :

1. Look at the pyramid, select the needs you have already fulfilled and put them as your assets then find the ones that need to be addressed and find different ways you can work towards satisfying them.
2. Write down the compliments people give you and read them from time to times to remind yourself that despite every reason you can find to hate yourself somebody else thinks that there is some good in you. 

That’s all for today’s advice. Please tell m what you think about my theory,there’s nothing scientific about it so feel free to question it, I love a good debate.

Enjoy your night! Or… your Morning!Kisses!  

Depression & PTSD at Christmas (How To Cope)

Depression & PTSD at Christmas (How To Cope).