Good morning! I’m drinking my coffee and watching videos, the person who was suppose to come visit at 3 cancelled, more time to clean! I’m almost done but I can take my time now. I’m talking to A. about forgiveness. She felt betrayed by a friend and she was very hurt.She wont be able to completely get rid of her friend because she is in her close surrounding and hey have a lot of friends in common. I told her to no focus on what she did wrong but to work on herself, to see figure out how to let go off the grudge so when she see her she doesn’t suffer. A. is an amazing friend who is very emphatic and ready to help others the problem is that she expect her friends to return the favor. Sadly a lot of people are selfish and wont make sacrifices for other people.
“Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time-just like it does for you and me.” – Sara Paddison
I found that quote online and it remind me of what my psychologist told me last week. Accepting that you cannot change people or expect they understand what they have done wrong is the key to happiness. Hurtful words and behaviors tell more about the person who commit them than the victim. Assessing our feelings and allowing ourselves to be freed from the pain others have caused us is beneficial. It’s not easy to stop hoping for apologies or admittance, but when we do we take control of our lives. We won’t have to wait for someone else,which is not even guaranteed, to deliver us from our burden. We can take introspect, find out why we are affected and manage our emotions and reactions accordingly. One of the ways I find very effective is by being compassionate. Admitting that the person did not know better and their affects and intellect are not built the same way ours are.
Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself -Tony Robbins
So give yourself the gift of forgiveness for the Holiday! Kisses!