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“It takes a lot…

“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”
― Erma Bombeck

Quote of the night 


Am I depressed?

You might be depressed if you experience 5 or more of these symptoms for more than 2 weeks. 

  • You lose interest for things you usually enjoy 
  • You feel sad, cry for no reason 
  • You are always tired, no energy 
  • You sleep too much
  • You have difficulty sleeping  
  • You have gained weight very quickly 
  • You lost you appetite 
  • You feel guilty, worthless 
  • It’s hard for you to concentrate 
  • It’s hard for you to take simple decisions 
  • You can’t stay still or you don’t feel like you can move 
  • You think about death and suicide   (please get help immediately) 


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1- Get help! 

In Canada you can consult your general physician, he will make the diagnosis and refer you to the proper channels. The Canadian healthcare system is well equipped to give you complete team of mental health professionals. One website that helped me was If you live in Quebec, you should definitely go to a CLSC they were the most helpful. 

If you feel like you are loosing control or yourself, you have a suicide plan, please contact a suicide help line or CALL 911 

If you work, check with your employer (HR) if they have a help program for employees, it’s becoming very common.

Most school and Universities have Health care professionals on site. They are usually free. Remember that depression is an illness like any other one, it needs to be treated by a health care professional. 

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2- After the diagnosis 

So the doctor gave you the diagnosis, you have clinical depression (or major depression) what do you do next? 

Try to find a psychologist, register for a psychiatrist and look for a support group. You can find all these information online. There are many free mental health support groups they help a lot. You might have to wait to get psychologist, finding a psychiatrist will take even longer but in the mean time there is no harm in looking for support elsewhere. Online forums and blogs helped me a lot. 

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3- They prescribed you meds

Many times, when it’s a general physician who prescribed your medication, he won’t take time to explain what they are and what to expect from them. Do your research, ask questions to your pharmacist. 

When are your depression medications gonna start to work ? 

They usually take 4 to 6 weeks to kick in, so you need patience. You are not gonna feel high are super happy from them, the change is gonna be slight but it might make a big difference. They also might not work, it generally takes a couple of adjustments before they find the perfect combination of meds. 

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4-Schedule you days 

If you are depressed, your agenda is your best friend. Your memory probably sucks and you don’t feel like doing anything so you will need some extra help. 

-Make a list of what you like to do (or what you used to like) 

-Make a list of what you have to do 

Now schedule your days to do: 

1 chore per day (It might be just to do 1 load of laundry) 

1 activity you like (taking a nice bath for example) 

1 physical activity (In the beginning it might mean 5 minutes walk around the block) 

and try to get outside everyday. It will be hard to do  all of them at first but be compassionate towards yourself. 

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5-If you have trouble sleeping 

This is a huge reason why you are so tired when you’re depressed. The body can’t work properly when it’s sleep deprived. If you have trouble falling asleep here are some tips that  can help you: 

-Turn off all electronics when you are ready to sleep 

-Don’t go to bed before you’re sleepy 

-Avoid naps (very hard I know… I tried spending my days out of the house so I could resist) 

-Try meditation (You can find guided meditation to sleep videos on YouTube) 

-Drink something hot before bed 

-Do some relaxation exercises 

My biggest problem with sleep was that I had very bad sleep quality. I kept waking up. I had to take sleeping pills. Most sleeping pills are addictive when they are not taken properly and when you are not followed by a doctor. I was on them for about 3 months then he took me off them. I still don’t sleep but it’s a choice now. 

6- Journal 

Journaling is proven to help depression. This will help you keep your sanity. Most of the time, you won’t find people who really understand what you’re going through, and journaling is a great way to get out those feelings that are eating you alive. You can burn them when you finish writing, what’s important is that you stop ruminating. You can find online some websites that give you journal topics or you can just Google self help tools for depression and you will find plenty of tools to help you sort out your feelings. 

This is it for my how to guide for depression. I will explore the subject further in other mini posts. 



A to Z challenge/ Bucket list (C) Colors

I’ve been thinking all day for the word starting with a C, and I was doing the laundry and I realized how much I love colors. It’s so obvious to me now… I painted my bathroom yellow (a shade of yellow), it was scary but fun! The topic of the day is how fashion affects my color choices.



Makes me happy I love wearing it in the beginning of spring, when the sun is shining and I know I getting warmer. When I wear yellow, I’m always in a good mood, and it compliments my skin very well. I also love yellow handbags, it’s such a happy color!


Makes me feel pretty, when I want to feel girly in cute, I go for pink. I like pink accessories. My phone cover is fushia, my wallet is coral. I wear pink more during the day, I guess it’s normal. (Pink includes : fushia, salmon, coral etc..).


I wear black when I feel down and I don’t wanna think about matching my clothes or I don’t want to be bothered. I wear it at night when I wanna feel sophisticated, it allows me to wear big jewelry without looking tacky.


I’m always scared to wear white, because I’m very clumsy. But it feels good to wear it when it’s hot, I wear white a lot in Haiti because of the weather and because I have someone who washes my clothes for me and she does it very well.


I wear purple whenever, I just love that color. I have a lot of purple T shirts it’s my go to color.


I hate brown clothes, but I love brown accessories. This winter I craved for brown leather boots, I also love brown handbags, or shoes. I tend to choose light brown over dark brown.

Beige and cream

Good color for capris and shorts. During the summer they’re fantastic to wear. Beige and cream leather accessories look classy and expensive.


I barely wear blue, it reminds me too much of  uniforms.


I almost never wear red. Except for my red trench coat, I love it! I feel like a lady when I wear it.


What’s your favorite color? Why? 

To my lovely crazies!

Maslow,mental health and compliments


I’ve been going through the comments on my blog and I saw how good I felt when I read positive comments and reviews about my blog. My self esteem goes up a bit, I’m starting to believe that maybe I’m good at this writing thing..People are actually interested in what I have to say and share. What a great feeling! So an idea came up! I’m going to collect positive things people say about be and whenever I’m down, I will read them and remember that some people think I’m awesome :). It’s crazy how it’s hard for us to accept our talents and know how much we are worth. This constant need of approval destroys our self esteem. 

Since we are human, and we cannot get rid of our need of belonging, I say, let’s make the best of it. We deserve to celebrate ourselves (Not to the point of being self centered), to remind ourselves that we were put into this hearth for a reason. Maybe we haven’t found it yet, but with a little digging, some experimentation and by accepting failure eventually we will be in the path of self actualization (Maslow’s hierarchy of needs). 

I’ve been looking for a video that correlates Maslow hierarchy of needs with mental disorders but I haven’t found one yet that doesn’t make me snore out of boredom. Why does information about mental health as to be so plain. No wonder reaching out to ”normal” people is so hard. Even I don’t want to watch a depressing video about depression.

My theory is a person suffering from a mental illness is generally deprived of his basic needs. These are the ones sited in the 3 first steps of the pyramid such as : health, employment security,family, friendship and sexual intimacy. It becomes more of a problem when they live in countries where those needed are supposedly fulfilled and the majority is reaching for the 2 last steps of the pyramid which are Esteem and Self Actualization. No wonder there is a barrier between the mentally ills and the mentally healthy , between the poor and the middle class and up. They don’t speak the same language.

A person who was raised in a stable family, had always have healthy relationship , who has never suffered from a mental illness wont understand why these needs are so important some someone who suffers from depression for example. For them these are already acquired needs that became their normalcy, now they are striving for high self esteem and creativity.A lot of people suffering from mental health are very creative and spontaneous. These are needs at the top of the pyramid, a person who had already acquired these qualities but lack of  basics necessity become unstable.

Take myself as an example I feel like I have met all the needs in the self actualization category (morality,creativity,spontaneity,problem solving,lack of prejudice and acceptance of facts) but In 3 other categories (Safety,love/belonging and esteem) I fail miserably. The good news is that it can be fixed and we don’t even have to do it in the ”right” order. The need of safety can be resolved with a concrete in rational plan so it should be easier to solve than the others. I think love and belonging goes with esteem. From my perspective, if we work on our self esteem, respect others,believe in ourselves and achieve the goals we set to ourselves, having a sense of belonging and making meaningful relationship should follow. This is great news, i just rationally proved to myself how I can improve my life! 

So my suggestion are :

  1. Look at the pyramid, select the needs you have already fulfilled and put them as your assets then find the ones that need to be addressed and find different ways you can work towards satisfying them.
  2. Write down the compliments people give you and read them from time to times to remind yourself that despite every reason you can find to hate yourself somebody else thinks that there is some good in you. 

That’s all for today’s advice. Please tell m what you think about my theory,there’s nothing scientific about it so feel free to question it, I love a good debate.

Enjoy your night! Or… your Morning!Kisses!  

ADHD As A Difference In Cognition, Not A Disorder: Stephen Tonti

My boyfriend has ADHD, I diagnosed him then his diagnosis was confirmed by a psychologist. He spent his life thinking he was dumb..underachieving, getting punished because he couldn’t stay still and he liked experimenting. The more he learned about about ADHD the more he understood himself and he’s been building his self esteem back up. I’m amazed by the mind of people with ADHD is incredible, they have innate talents and intuitions that ”normal” people don’t have. Yet there is a stigma that needs to stopped….Yes he drives me crazy sometimes but I’m never bored with him 🙂 We should celebrate our differences!


Last week I participated in a study about rejection. It reminded me how much human being needs to have a sense of belonging. The desire to fit in has always been something I struggled with. In a society where being outside of the norm is so strongly judged, I didn’t have much going for me.

I was always the youngest in my class, because I skipped grades very early. By the end of high school I was three years younger then the average student in my grade. I was automatically excluded from any groups just because of my age. I Also didn’t have the same interests as normal teenagers, at least that what i thought. As the years went on i learnt how to pretend to be normal. Accumulating knowledge and studying people’s behavior was quite easy for me, so i learnt about current music, stars and got myself a boyfriend. I kept my grades average, high enough so my parents don’t bother me, and low enough not to get singled out as a good student. I could not help my self to have discussions with my teachers about subjects that were outside of the curriculum. One day a couple of girls made a comment about it, teasing me for always answering questions in class but not having good grades. So I stopped answering questions and talking to teachers, I took on another persona: the class clown. I wasn’t learning anything in school mind as well make everyone laugh, maybe then they would like me.

Unrelated circumstances made me change high school in 12 grade. It was the best thing that had ever happened to me, nobody knew me so I stayed under the radar. I had good grades, played tennis and stayed in my bubble. I finally had a break with bullying and I didn’t want it to start again.

In college even though I wasn’t interested in what I was studying, I was able to get involved in extracurricular activities. I finally felt like i belonged somewhere, people wanted to be friends with me because i had good grade and I was well know by the university faculty members . I knew most of them were just exploiting me but at least i wasn’t completely alone. Still tried to be like anybody else, complain about the exams, faked being scared about my grades, went to a lot of social events. Nobody really knew the real me and i started to loose sight of who I really was. I finally found a winning strategy and I wasn’t going to let it waste. Graduated started working, found decent jobs excelled. It was kind of hard to connect with people simply because I was perceived as the smart kid. I hated what I did, but i was so blinded by the desire to be perfect that i brushed off my doubts. I still met some great people I learnt a lot from, one of the most important thing i learned was that you cannot judge someone’s intelligence or knowledge by their degree of schooling.

Anyways my point after that whole section of autobiography is that people then to loose themselves trying to be what society calls normal. They become lonely and unhappy. We should accept other people for who they are and embrace our differences. Marginals often have a lot to offer and their different view of the world could help us progress. Why should an artist hide his art or a scientist repress his curiosity? Creativity is the recipe for progress, let’s be smart and encourage it.