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S. for Suicide

During the crisis part of my depression, I’ve felt suicidal to a point that I go scared of what I could do to myself.

What to do when you feel suicidal

1) Try to calm down: the first thing I would do was to try to calm down. Watch a funny show, write on my journal, take a walk, play with my dog, anything that could make me feel better. If that did not work I would try seek outside help.

2) Try to talk to someone you know: I made a list with my psychologist of people I could contact in case I felt like hurting myself. The first person of course was Bf. So I would call them or text them. Most of the time I was ashamed to tell them that I felt suicidal, so I would just talk to them, tell them was not feeling well. I’d ask my boyfriend to come over or to stay with me on the phone until I sleep. Support from family and friends is crucial, most of the time, after talking to someone close I was able to calm the pain.

3) Contact a Help line: I’ve actually never done that, but some of my friends did and it helped them. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger. So if you don’t have anybody to talk to , try calling a help line.

4) Look for Help online: Online forums saved my life multiple times. At a point in my life it was the only place where I could find people feeling like I did. Then I discovered WordPress which is even better. I use to go to a site (I think), where people would post how they felt, it was helpful because I would comment on others post telling them there is hope. Then I realized that if I didn’t wan’t others to commit suicide maybe I should think the same for myself.

5) Call 911 or Check in a hospital: This happened once to me and it was the scariest experience of my life. I had already cut myself during the night, I cried for 2 hours or more and I destroyed a Teddy Bear with a knife. I was escalating, and I had the means to hurt myself seriously. I could not reach my boyfriend, I was too scared to call the Help line, I didn’t want to get committed by force. So I went to the hospital and checked myself in. It wasn’t pleasant but at least I was safe. I checked out in the morning, they informed my psychiatrist and my social worker so I could get more support. I hated the experience but I’m glad I did , because I’m alive and well now.


Quote of the night

“When you stop pretending to be who you are not and start being yourself, there is a big risk: significant people in your life may not accept you and leave. Yet, when you stop being yourself and pretend to be who you are not, there is a much bigger risk: the people who would accept and love you just as you are, may not accept you and leave.” 
― Franco Santoro

Time to talk – a parent’s perspective on children’s mental illness

On December 14, 2012, the day Adam Lanza killed his mother, then walked into a school in Newtown, Connecticut and shot 20 first graders and 6 brave educators, I shared my struggles as a parent of a child with mental illness on my anonymous blog, the Anarchist Soccer Mom. The post went viral, and it caused quite a bit of controversy. In that post, I wrote, “It’s time to talk about mental illness.” Why? One in five children has a serious and debilitating mental disorder. More than 4600 children and young people die each year from completing suicide. And yet across America, parents are struggling to find solutions for their hurting children. Too often, the only solution is jail: between 50 and 75 percent of children in juvenile detention have mental illness, often untreated, at a tremendous cost to taxpayers and society. Parents feel isolated, alone, and afraid. Pervasive stigma prevents us from even talking about our needs. One mother told me, “I know this sounds terrible, but I wish my daughter had cancer instead of a mental disorder. At least then I could talk about it.”
It’s time to talk.

Self-Hatred & How To Deal with it! Mental Health Help with Kat


I receive a lot of questions about self-hatred, self-loathing & self-disgust. I feel that a lot of mental health issues that we deal with are rooted in this. What do we do to end the cycle of self-hatred, negative coping behavior, and more self-hatred? In this video we discuss two simple techniques I like to use to get us started towards a better future. Know that we can get better 🙂 and as always please share what works for you in the comment section.

Download my NEW Self-Harm Workbook:



I like Kati Monrton’s videos, she really has great tips!

Understanding mental illness through empathic storytelling

Jake Morgan and Neal Walia are seeking to show the power of shared experience and how it can bring light to the emotions and thoughts we might never express.

To share your story or contact Jake and Neal, send an email to

Both pre-med juniors at the University of Oklahoma, Jake and Neal see the inherent value of empathy not only in the occupation of a physician but also in our everyday interactions. Jake is a microbiology and Italian double major who dedicates his time to teaching his peers organic chemistry and the Italian language. When he’s not living and breathing peer education, he loves to “couchsurf” around Europe while honing his Italian. Jake plans to teach medical students in the future as a physician with the hope of communicating the significance of empathy in patient-physician interactions. Neal is studying psychology and hopes to utilize the principles in this field to connect with his future patients. A health fanatic, Neal is constantly active whether its break dancing or running around with Siberian husky, Boomer.

A fellow blogger committed suicide

I won’t say her name, she was not on WordPress and I can’t verify that information. Reportedly she suffered from depression. He blog was about empowering black girls, making them proud of their natural beauty. I feel sad because it’s another proof how depression doesn’t show on someone’s face. That girl used her gift to help others and she needed help herself. The taboo of mental illness is very dangerous. I only started feeling better, when I allowed myself to tell others I was depressed and I wasn’t ashamed of it.

I don’t really know what to say because I didn’t know her, but when someone commits suicide I can relate, and it pains me because it can be avoided. I feel like there is a mental health crisis everywhere and people just bury their head in the sand! People are screaming for help and  no one seem to realize the gravity of the situation. A lot of efforts are being made but a lot more needs to be done, we need to stop the stigma! Increase the awareness!

We cannot keep loosing such talented lives because  their illness is not taken seriously enough. The internet is a good way for us to share our feeling and talk about our struggles. I know the WordPress community is doing a lot in terms of awareness and blogging has helped me personally to find a meaning in life.

I want to say to all of you , keep up the good work! Every post, every comment, makes a difference. We have to continue the work because it’s important.  For the ones who read us, we are there for you, depression is a very dark cave where it’s hard to find a way out. But there is a way out… you have to keep hope and faith. The pain is so hard sometimes, so deep, you cannot breathe, you don’t see yourself going on like that… Some days you wish you could die just for a couple of days… to have a break…with life. I think the only solution is patience.

Personally the  combination of therapy and medication worked for me. Therapy is the most important, not only talking to a psychologist, but also meditation, mindfulness, writing, everything that can help you clear you mind. I remember I use to postpone my death, for a week, a month, a year. Give myself small goals or rewards, to get through the week. It’s hard I know… if you can’t do it by yourself it’s okay… go to the emergency room… it’s not a fun thing, they treat you like you’re crazy, unless you are lucky and find a good nurse, but at least you will be safe. Sometimes a night in the ER is enough to keep your compulsions in check.

Anyways! That’s all for today! Remember… there is always hope. Help is available, don’t be ashamed, depression is a deadly disease.



Depression is extremely important to notice as soon as possible. Signs to look for:

feelings of hopelessness or constant pessimism
restlessness or irritability
overeating or loss of appetite
suicidal ideation
aches and pains

The symptoms and side effects are noticeable, you just need to know what to look for. We don’t have to live our lives thinking we are alone. We can seek out help and treatment. There are many options, let’s work together towards recovery!

Suicidal tonight

I’m feeling suicidal tonight…my bf is mad at me for being sad and I can’t explain what’s going on with me. I’m crying cuz I feel alone. I feel guilty for being sad. Tonight I don’t see the point of staying alive. I won’t act on it because I know the feeling is probably temporary but these ups and down are draining. I need a hug. I just want him to take me in his arm. I really have a urge to cut, there’s nothing stopping me, but I know it won’t solve anything. I have to process the pain. I need someone who understands me. How do u explain to someone you’re crying for no reason ? The pain is there… The emptiness is back.

I’m gonna try and sleep .


How to Leave an Abusive Relationship

What do you do if you’re in a romantic relationship with someone who physically, emotionally or sexually abuses you? It’s possible that you don’t even recognize the fact that you’re being abused. In fact, 28 percent of young adults have experienced violence in a romantic relationship. Like healthy relationships, abusive relationships have ups and downs, and it’s easy to write off the bad moments when you’re in a good one. However, the strategy for ending an abusive relationship is fundamentally different. On today’s WellCast, we’re going to show you how to tell if you’re in this kind of relationship, and how to safely get out of the relationship ASAP.