I can’t believe it! I was expecting it around may, and it came! Now, I don’t know what to do! Too many opportunities! I can go back to school in Canada and work wherever I want, or I can stay in Haiti and do whatever I want. I a little overwhelmed because I planned around not having my residency for the next few months, but its better to have too many choices than nothing at all.
I don’t think there will be any adventures today. Yesterday after posting I had to run to my other aunt’s house because she was sick and her son was freaking out, when I got by home , I talked with my cousin then I received the email from immigration. I was too exited to sleep naturally so I took 25 mg of Seroquel and slept.
I didn’t have time to finish the post this morning. The day when pretty well, my mood went down during the afternoon though, I felt like all my energy was gone. When I got home my dad started lecturing me about how I stress too much, and the depression is all in my head and that they should make me toughen up. I told him if he keeps annoying me I would just move out. He stopped talking. I was very upset because I’m doing pretty well and he has no clue of what happened in my life. He’s partly responsible of me being so messed up since he wasn’t around enough.
Something else happened today that was weird, I guess it’s a cultural shock. Let me know what you think. I went to lunch with my boyfriend and while we were leaving I was holding a cold water bottle in my hands. Bf and I were talking and I coughed a little. A man stopped my boyfriend and told him that I should not be drinking cold water if I’m coughing. I’m gonna shut my eyes on the fact that it was none of his business since I’ve explained to you that people think they’re responsible for you well being. My problem is why he didn’t address me directly. I’m not my boyfriend’s daughter, I felt like since I was a woman he had to talk to my man instead of my like I was an object. I don’t think he thinks of me as an object but I think the culture is so chauvinistic that they don’t realize that it’s inappropriate. What shocked me the most is that when I got home, I told my aunts and my dad and they didn’t find anything wrong with it. Am I over thinking it? Am I being too much of a feminist? Please let me know what you think.
Bf is going back to Canada next week snif… I’m really gonna miss him, we had a great time together. We won’t see each other at least before May. It’s gonna be hard because I’m feeling in love these days. Sexually wise I’m gonna be just fine … I think most of us have very low libido while on anti depressant. I know you guys are from different fields so can somebody tell me if it’s a good idea to stop my periods for the next couple of months? Since I won’t be having sex I don’t see why I should remove the Nuvaring every 3 weeks to have a fake period. The only reason I do it, is because I’m paranoid about getting pregnant and not knowing it. But no sex.. No pregnancy risk. So that’s another question for you to answer, please…..
Good news! I’m going to the beach this weekend! (If we find gas lol). I think the gas shortage should be over by the end of the week. We’re probably gonna be sleeping over there. We haven’t had a lot of alone time since we came here, and last time we went to the beach I was sick (just my luck! ) Lol. What else? Meditating to sleep is working, I love it! That zen thing is good :). I hope I get well soon so I can start exercising. I brought my Wii, and my cousins have workout DVDs. I can’t go to the gym yet or start playing tennis with my trainer until I know where exactly I’m gonna live. I have job opportunities in two different provinces (5h drive between them) my dad is in Port au Prince and my mom is in Cap Haitien. I’d rather stay with my mom honestly, so we’ll see if they hire me.
That’s all for tonight my loves! I’m slowly coming back to blogging! Take care, be mindful and love yourself!