S. for Suicide

During the crisis part of my depression, I’ve felt suicidal to a point that I go scared of what I could do to myself.

What to do when you feel suicidal

1) Try to calm down: the first thing I would do was to try to calm down. Watch a funny show, write on my journal, take a walk, play with my dog, anything that could make me feel better. If that did not work I would try seek outside help.

2) Try to talk to someone you know: I made a list with my psychologist of people I could contact in case I felt like hurting myself. The first person of course was Bf. So I would call them or text them. Most of the time I was ashamed to tell them that I felt suicidal, so I would just talk to them, tell them was not feeling well. I’d ask my boyfriend to come over or to stay with me on the phone until I sleep. Support from family and friends is crucial, most of the time, after talking to someone close I was able to calm the pain.

3) Contact a Help line: I’ve actually never done that, but some of my friends did and it helped them. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger. So if you don’t have anybody to talk to , try calling a help line.

4) Look for Help online: Online forums saved my life multiple times. At a point in my life it was the only place where I could find people feeling like I did. Then I discovered WordPress which is even better. I use to go to a site suicideproject.com (I think), where people would post how they felt, it was helpful because I would comment on others post telling them there is hope. Then I realized that if I didn’t wan’t others to commit suicide maybe I should think the same for myself.

5) Call 911 or Check in a hospital: This happened once to me and it was the scariest experience of my life. I had already cut myself during the night, I cried for 2 hours or more and I destroyed a Teddy Bear with a knife. I was escalating, and I had the means to hurt myself seriously. I could not reach my boyfriend, I was too scared to call the Help line, I didn’t want to get committed by force. So I went to the hospital and checked myself in. It wasn’t pleasant but at least I was safe. I checked out in the morning, they informed my psychiatrist and my social worker so I could get more support. I hated the experience but I’m glad I did , because I’m alive and well now.

 

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Posted on April 21, 2014, in A to Z Challenge and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Than you for You and your precious life. Everything is going to be OK 🙂

  2. Thank you for sharing this. I’ve dealt with depression for most of my life and have definitely gone through some dark times, which, at the time, feel like there’s no way out. It sounds like you’ve done some really great work on figuring out what YOU need to get out of that dark place…keep your head up! You are worth this life. ❤

  3. Good for you for posting this! Thank you for being a positive influence to this community…

  4. WOW! Congrats on the courage to share all this which may well save so many others. I have never been suicidal but it has hit VERY close to home, and the darkness and harm left behind, the confusion of those that love you… and there are always those that love and care … so BRAVE.. so glad you are now well, powerful amazing post #AtoZchallenge ☮Peace ☮ ღ ONE ℒℴνℯ ღ ☼ Light ☼ visiting from
    http://4covert2overt.blogspot.com/
    4covert2overt ~ A Day in the Spotlight

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