Cravings. blogging and life
The past 2 weeks have not been easy for me in term of dieting. I try to cook the most I can, but sometimes I’m to tired to cook or go to the groceries to buy more vegetable and we end up ordering. I lost .4 pounds this week, but it’s not enough. I should loose 1 to 2 pounds a week. Last week was very hard for me emotionally, I don’t know what’s going on with me, but my mood has been going down and my anxiety up. Thank god I I have WordPress to help me through the day. I’m going to Haiti in the next 2 weeks, I should feel better there. It’s spring though! I usually love spring, but I think my limited resources discourage me from getting out of the apartment.
My relationship with BF is steady, steady good. It helps me a lot because it’s one less thing I have to worry about. I think I’m getting tired of living with his sister though. She is nice and spontaneous, but he spontaneity turns often into irresponsibility and it annoys the crap out of me. Her life is not my business so I try my best not to care too much and get frustrated with her. My psychologist told me that I can’t be everybody’s superhero and some people don’t want help and are perfectly satisfied with where they are. Since I’ve been trying not to judge others, I take it with humility and compassion. I have accepted that each of us has his own rhythm and I can’t fore anybody to grow up.
I’m happy that I’m making my blog look more professional and organized. I’m an overachiever and I don’t think that’s gonna change, and I absolutely love doing it, mind as well use my talents in something I like. I’ve been thinking about buying a domain so I can have my own website, but I’m scared to loose my followers and to loose my passion for blogging if it becomes a job. I would also have to generate revenue out of it. Although it would be great to do that for a living! No need to go to the prison called office, working only for money. I guess I gave to do some more research to know how I can do it.
I’m also scared about loosing my anonymity, I share secrets on my blog that might affect other people I love. If my name gets out it might be devastating to them. I seem to have a gift for blogging, and I don’t want to loose greengrowsdark, you guys made me and this virtual community has helped me with too much, to leave like that. So do I do a greengrowsdark dot something, or do I create a new website with another name? What do you think? My blog’s name is weird but I love it. Its meaning is very complicated, the name came up to me while I was watching a documentary on being vegan and the green movement, I got all exited, decided to become vegetarian, then I watch another documentary talking about the dark sides of the green movements and how we grow vegetables. I consider plants as living organisms as well as animals, it would take me a whole other post to explain my point of view.
I really likes how green, which is suppose to good, can turn into something very bad. We are all filled with contradictions, and nothing is black or white. What we perceive as good could represent the devil for others. Is my explanation of greengrowsdark good enough? I have no idea, I’ll keep you updated. I just realized that it’s been 6 months since I first blogged, I have nearly 600 followers now and I’ve published more then 500 post! Not all of them are original of course, I don’t think I could write that much, but it’s still a lot. If I do create that website I’ll have to be more narrow in my subjects though… I don’t know if I can do that, I like to talk about so many different things. I have being fitted into a box. Oh well, there’s no rush. Let me know what you think!
Posted on April 15, 2014, in Journal and tagged anxiety-, blogging, compassion, depression, diet, empathy, expending, happiness, humility, judgement, passion, self improvement, website, writing.. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.