Suicidal tonight

I’m feeling suicidal tonight…my bf is mad at me for being sad and I can’t explain what’s going on with me. I’m crying cuz I feel alone. I feel guilty for being sad. Tonight I don’t see the point of staying alive. I won’t act on it because I know the feeling is probably temporary but these ups and down are draining. I need a hug. I just want him to take me in his arm. I really have a urge to cut, there’s nothing stopping me, but I know it won’t solve anything. I have to process the pain. I need someone who understands me. How do u explain to someone you’re crying for no reason ? The pain is there… The emptiness is back.

I’m gonna try and sleep .



Posted on March 17, 2014, in Journal and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. I’m not sure if you find significance in a stranger telling you they’re here for you but you’re definently not alone. The feeling will pass. I’m writing a blog to help myself cope with hard feelings and I’m hoping it will help others. Glance through it, I promise you’ll find something you can relate to, to remind yourself you’re not alone.

  2. you can only explain the pain and sadness and emptiness to someone else who has been there too. im so sorry bf doesn’t understand and you have to deal with this more or less alone. im glad you know youre not going to act on it tho, even tho i know how exhausting these ups and downs are. take care, hang in there and hope you get some good sleep and feel better tomorrow.

  3. I’m sorry you feel so bad- I know how it feels, like it’ll won’t get better. Hold Jack close. Tomorrow will feel better. *hugs*

  4. Please don’t feel so down. My wife has the manic depressive problem she was in one for the last two days but has come out of it now. Never let the down’s win anything, if you let the downs win, you miss out on all the sunshine that is yet to be given to you in your future. But if you let the down win you will miss out on on of the beautiful Son’s light ahead of you.

  5. There is a lot of positive in this. You want to cut, but you choose not to. You want it to be over, but you know that is not right. It is hard to explain the sad. But you are using your blog as an outlet. We understand. Sending you lots and lots of hugs. You are so strong. Remember that!!

  6. I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad 😦 I’m also sorry you aren’t getting the support right now you need. I hope writing it here helped and the comments are a little support. I wish I could give you a hug. I hope you had a good nights rest. Big hug x

  7. I don’t know what to say. *hugs*
    I hope that tomorrow is a much better day. We care for you.
    *more hugs*

  8. I am glad you slashed the words on your page instead. I see you have been to my blog so you know I have walked that journey of not knowing how to deal with things. It is worth hanging on and getting to the other side. It can be a long journey but there is hope if you hang on.

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