Do any of you have anger issues? I get irritated easily but I can control it, but my boyfriend for example gets frustrated for the smallest things. I know he was dealing with his anger issues but does it ever go away? I don’t wanna spend the rest of my life with someone who’s always mad. I know he’s gonna propose soon, and I’m not as sure as I was before that I want to get married. I love him and he’s been very good to me and he adores me, but his outburst are a big problem. It’s hard for us to communicate, because he gets defensive, does any of you have an idea about how to talk to someone who has anger management issues?
With the whole mindfulness concept I’ve been embracing, I stay calm when he gets mad, because I know the anger is not directed towards me, but I don’t feel happy to have to deal with that. How do you know if you should marry someone? Should you break it of because of one bad traits of character? I really need an answer, I need advice.
I’m not very good at being angry, it’s not an emotion I have often, so I don’t really know much about it…maybe I should do some research on it.
Wikipedia defines anger as :
Anger is an emotion related to one’s psychological interpretation of having been offended, wronged, or denied. Often it indicates when one’s basic boundaries are violated. Some have a learned tendency to react to anger through retaliation. Anger may be utilized effectively when utilized to set boundaries or escape from dangerous situations. Sheila Videbeck describes anger as a normal emotion that involves a strong uncomfortable and emotional response to a perceived provocation.
How do one defines his basic boundaries? It seems like anger is very subjective. In the definition they talk about perceived provocation, so basically this emotion is a reaction toward something you are not sure of. To be able to control it and not use retaliation as a response, a person needs to have the ability to empathize with others and enough self control to take a step back and see the other people’s point of view.
“Transformation is my favorite game and in my experience, anger and frustration are the result of you not being authentic somewhere in your life or with someone in your life. Being fake about anything creates a block inside of you. Life can’t work for you if you don’t show up as you.”
― Jason Mraz
Is Jason Mraz right? (he’s one of my favorite artist by the way). By being authentic do you get rid of anger and frustration ?Or is it deeper than that? Let me know what you think.
This is a link to a brochure about managing anger :