Asthma please give me a break

My body refuses to adapt to the new weather! It’s been a month now and I’m getting frustrated. I have a second interview for the job I talked to you about tomorrow. I should be happy but I’m feeling stressed out and I don’t know why. I’m not sure it’s about the job, although I’m scared to go back to work, I’m kind of exited to try something new. I can’t really point out what is stressing me out because my life is pretty good right now….Except for my damn lungs!

I NEED JACK!!! I really don’t want him to come via cargo but at this point I’m considering it. Bf still can’t travel back to Canada so I’m even more worried about my baby… Maybe that’s why I’m stressed…I did some Yoga today it felt good. It also seems that I’m getting married next year. Bf haven’t proposed yet, but we already chose a date… We always do our things differently…I can’t wait for him to propose for real though…Because even though I’m planning, it doesn’t seem real. Control freak that I am I already have a spreadsheet, filled with every details I have to plan, but now I have to wait…and I hate waiting.

I think I broke my mom’s car. I gave the car to a guy to drive my aunt home, he told me he was gonna put oil in it. When I got the car back it was making weird noises…the problem is that my mom doesn’t know that I let someone else drive the car…It was a terrible idea…now I feel bad… She’s gonna send it to the mechanics tomorrow I hope It’s nothing important. I guess I do have a lot on my mind…It’s weird how my conception of wedding and marriage has changed, I always wanted to have an expensive ring on my finger, and a romantic proposal but now I don’t care. I kinda wanna tell him to buy me a 25 dollar ring if he feels the need to have a ring to propose and he will give me the real one later. What’s important for me now is to be able to start my life with him. Since I won’t be paying for the wedding, I can enjoy planning it, but if the money was coming out of my pocket, I think I would just have a wedding with 20 people. Now the guest list is at 150..and I’m still waiting on Bf to give me the rest of the list.

I think the stress is not helping my asthma. I didn’t realize I was stressed before now… Hum…I guess I’m still depressed…I’m tired I’m gonna go sleep now…tomorrow will be a better day!




Posted on January 23, 2014, in Journal and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Wow! Congrats to you and your bf! You certainly have a lot going on!
    I hope the asthma clears up soon. But do pay attention: respiratory problems were an anxiety symptom I didn’t recognize in my descent to depression.
    I hope you are reunited with Jack soon!
    Good luck at your job interview! xx

    • Thank you :). I’m paying attention to the might be anxiety, its hard to know which it is…My lungs where clear last time I checked (Sunday). I think I’m gonna do m ore relaxation exercises and some Yoga, hopefully I’ll get better. How are u doing btw?

  2. Love hearing the positive things happening in your life. Congrats. Hugs!!

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