This is a very important video. I had a safety plan with my psychologist and it really helped. I signed a contract promising that I wont hurt myself before contacting a list of people. It didn’t really help with my self harm, but it really helped for suicide. I think just the thought of breaking a contract discouraged me. Recognizing my triggers really helped too. I admitted myself in a hospital once because I felt like I was loosing control and I couldn’t reach my boyfriend. I did not like the experience but at least I was safe. I just spent the night there, saw a psychiatrist in the morning than my boyfriend came to pick me up.So if you feel like you are loosing control, please admit yourself! It’s better to admit yourself than getting admitted by force because you get to choose when you can go home.I didn’t want to go home though, I was scared. I asked my boyfriend to spend the week with me and it really helped. I know it’s not easy to find someone to be there for you, for those who live alone I would suggest that you get a pet. I lowers the feeling of loneliness. Also, Jack for example knows when I’m sad, he comes to me, smells my tears, then sometimes he just stays in front of me and stares at me, or he go find one of his toys and try to make me play. Sometimes all you need is a couple minute of distraction from your dark thoughts to take back control of your mind. Now I remember, because I haven’t used it for a couple of months, there’s a website called suicide project. It’s not one of these websites where you get a lecture of how suicide is wrong and that you should be grateful to be alive. People with suicidal thoughts just go there, write about how they feel, their intentions, and others helped them. What I likes about it was that everybody was messed up, so there was no judgment. During my dark times, I would spend the night just trying to keep other people from killing themselves, and sometimes I would write. One day it occurred to me: why don’t I have hope for myself? I’m trying to give hope to others and I genuinely believe that they can get better. Why don,t I do the same for myself.Helping others is my calling, when I do it I feel like I matter, like I’m not consuming the earth’s resources pointlessly. For you it could be something else, you don’t have to look very far,find something you enjoy doing instinctively.And when you feel like giving up, go do it…It might give you a little taste of life.
Wow I didn’t plan on writing that much! Anyways, Stay Strong my loves.