Getting ready for the psychiatrist
So…I’m in my bathroom right now and I’m suppose to be getting ready to go to my psychiatrist appointment. I hate it! The doctor is nice but it just feels like I’m in an interrogation room. It’s also a reminder that I’m sick. Today we are suppose to talk about Seroquel, if he’s keeping me on it or not. I have a major problem with my whole treatment plan: My psychologist and my psychiatrist don’t communicate. So basically my doctor is just prescribing medication without really knowing what is going on with me. I feel lucky thought that my psychiatrist doesn’t like medication, at least I know he’s really trying to help me.
I’m very stressed out, I can’t lie, my doctor is the one who is suppose to tell me if I can go back to work or not. I’m suppose to start a rehabilitation program with an agency my job hired and I don’t know if I want to.It’s far from where I live and commuting stresses me out . I don’t know if I want to go back to work, it’s where my panic attacks started and I’m petrified of the judgement my coworkers can have toward me. It’s a big corporation and empathy is not their forte. I’ve considered quitting but my counselors don’t want me to because I’m not in a mental state to take definitive decisions.
Ugh.. I don’t know about you guys but when I get that anxious my body starts aching… I cant breath well.. I’m out of the bathroom, I couldn’t get ready. It’s just a simple step inside the tub… I’m in my room now.. I want to cry… Let me try breathing……I have fifteen minutes left to chill or I’m gonna be late.I’m feeling weak…ok…toughen up now…sigh
I’ve been staring at my laptop’s screen for a couple minutes now… finally found the strength to keep on writing. I really have to go now so I’ll let you know how the appointment went later!