Getting ready for the psychiatrist

So…I’m in my bathroom right now and I’m suppose to be getting ready to go to my psychiatrist appointment. I hate it! The doctor is nice but it just feels like I’m in an interrogation room. It’s also a reminder that I’m sick. Today we are suppose to talk about Seroquel, if he’s keeping me on it or not. I have a major problem with my whole treatment plan: My psychologist and my psychiatrist don’t communicate. So basically my doctor is just prescribing medication without really knowing what is going on with me. I feel lucky thought that my psychiatrist doesn’t like medication, at least I know he’s really trying to help me. 

I’m very stressed out, I can’t lie, my doctor is the one who is suppose to tell me if I can go back to work or not. I’m suppose to start a rehabilitation program with an agency my job hired  and I don’t know if I want to.It’s far from where I live and commuting stresses me out . I don’t know if I want to go back to work, it’s where my panic attacks started and I’m petrified of the judgement my coworkers can have toward me. It’s a big corporation and empathy is not their forte. I’ve considered quitting but my counselors don’t want me to because I’m not in a mental state to take definitive decisions. 

Ugh.. I don’t know about you guys but when I get that anxious my body starts aching… I cant breath well.. I’m out of the bathroom, I couldn’t get ready. It’s just a simple step inside the tub… I’m in my room now.. I want to cry… Let me try breathing……I have fifteen minutes left to chill or I’m gonna be late.I’m feeling weak…ok…toughen up now…sigh 

I’ve been staring at my laptop’s screen for a couple minutes now… finally found the strength to keep on writing. I really have to go now so I’ll let you know how the appointment went later! 



Posted on November 14, 2013, in Journal and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. hope it goes well. good luck

  2. Thinking of you! I know the anxiety very well.

  3. Tell me about the awful feeling of being interrogated! Today I sat with my two bosses because I have missed 20 days this year of work alone, and I only work part-time. My heart almost jumped out my chest as they sat there and stared and asked, “now what can you tell me?” Ugh…….

    • You live in Canada right? technically they cannot do anything to you, and they’re not suppose to make you feel bad about it. Look it up on your province employment website. Go to see a General practitioner and get a paper from him so yo will your absences can be justified now. He probably just write that you suffer from a chronic medical condition and that you might miss days because of that.

      • Yes I do live in Canada and my work is aware of my condition. But we still need to have those meetings where I have to still explain things, as to my treatment and progress and this year was the worst yet. Just sucks having to explain yourself. I guess for me it was a reality check as well as to how bad I’m actually doing. Time to heal.

  4. I can so relate to your panicky feelings. I did not do well on Seroquel, but it works for some.

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